WHAT INFLUENCES YOUR SEXUAL DESIRE?

Let’s get a bit more formal and check out some research and theories.

Here’s a list of three related but separate components that influences how you desire.

1. YOUR SEX DRIVE
2. BELIEFS AND VALUES
3. MOTIVATION TO ENGAGE SEXUALLY (Levine, 1992)

YOUR SEX DRIVE

  • Drive refers to the biological component of desire.
  • Drive is typically manifested by sexual thoughts, feelings, fantasies and dreams.
  • Drive increases your erotic attraction to others.
  • You’re driven to seek out sexual activity (alone or with a partner).
  • You become aware of an increase in genital tingling and genital sensitivity.
  • Drive declines in both men and women as a function of ageing.
  • For some women declining levels of free testosterone, related to declining ovarian function, will result in a noticeable decrease in sexual drive.

BELIEFS & VALUES

The second component of desire reflects your personal expectations, beliefs and values about sex.

Positive sexual beliefs and values enhance your desire. The more positive your beliefs and values are about sexuality, the greater your desire is to behave sexually.

According to sexual script theory, the degree of enjoyment derived from any given sexual encounter will depend on the extent to which the individual feels that he or she is fulfilling his or her socially-defined role and ought to be feeling pleasure in that situation (Simon & Gagnon, 1986).

MOTIVATION

The third component of desire is your psychological and interpersonal motivation.

Motivation is driven by psychological and interpersonal factors.

Motivation is driven by your willingness to engage sexually with your partner.
Needless to say your sexual motivation tends to have the greatest impact overall on your desire.

SEX DRIVE: WHAT INFLUENCES YOUR SEXUAL DESIRE?

SEX DRIVE vs SEXUAL MOTIVATION

Understanding The Differnce

KATHERINE
Low Drive – Low Motivation

Katherine believes that she had a high sex drive, but her motivation to engage sexually with Kevin after a fight or when he’d been drinking was very low.

Kevin hasn’t changed much over the years.

These days Katherine’s sex drive has been virtually wiped out. Her motivation to be intimate and sexual with her Kevin is at an all time low.

JANICE
High Motivation – Low Drive

On the other hand, Janice believes that she has lost most of her sex drive. She rarely thinks about sex and she can’t remember the last time she felt like it.

However, Janice really enjoys sex. She loves the closeness and connection she feels during and after sex.

Janice remains highly motivated to find ways of enhancing their sexual experience and ways of getting aroused because she knows that she enjoys sex once her body gets into it.

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